I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
My balls are so social today.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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