I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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