i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
