There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
