Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
