but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Couch. On fire.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
that may or may not have been my penis.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
