Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
