omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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