its not stalking. its research.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
