It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Bring me that man meat
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
