I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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