happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
