I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
