I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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