someone get that fucking seahorse.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
