No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
