thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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