I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
