D3 body, D1 cock
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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