Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
