no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
