What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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