I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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