I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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