and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
