The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
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