There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
it's like iHOP with fire
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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