my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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