never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
