Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
