hotel room ftw
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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