Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
