Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
