Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I don't think brook has ever known best
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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