Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
