Your mouth is God's brothel.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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