Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
