she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
