Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize