I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Maybe he injected his testicle?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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