is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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