the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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