I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
