We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
