I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
you never un-have a 4some
Randomize
