Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
