I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
