I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Don't tell me you're on acid again
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
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