i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
