the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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